The Inner Self

Tranfs-FORMED

2007-10-20T11:54:00.000+02:00

Unlike Micheal Bay's Transformers (if yu love sci-fi I would be sorry for you if you miss it) no evil Decepticons came to transform my life. But still the tide of time carried me away from my normal self and here I stand transformed. Few of the transformations are as follows...

Starting from the morning.

1. Unlike before, I get up at maximum 8AM.

2. Besides having Oily puri, Crispy dosa with spicy chutney, Garam Garam Idli with sambhar or Poha with lots of peanuts for breakfast I eat cereal or something Sweet with coffee. Aaaaah I know how badly I miss "Ghar ka" or even "Mess ka" breakfast and bullshit they don't serve breakfast in Minsa here. :(

3. I take an elevator to get down unlike before where I used to take steps get down two floors.

4. I ride my cycle to work besides walking to class(Class...I really doubt :D)

5. I cycle on the right side besides walking on the left playing football on the way with all the Cigarette boxes,coke or pepsi or beer cans.

6. I stick to the traffic rules besides breaking them..damn I miss home.

7. I never drive here....damn again...I miss my(wahi ghar ka) opel :(

8. After getting to work(not any more) I check ibnlive.com for half an hour.

8. Unlike before I watch a lot of videos on You-tube, I used to download them from LAN and watch them earlier.

9. I use headphones rather than banging my head to the tunes of my 5.1 speker system...oooo i miss them.

Now the most worst part...
10. I go to the minsa instead of mess ( I prefer mess to minsa).

11. I take pasta/pizza and meat(seldom I know which animal is it) and cattle feed(yaa I am talking about salad), Fruiita Yourghurt instead of "Dahi" with "Chini", bottled water instead of drinking from a BIG JUG without a GLASS(RK's Tradition..idiots broke it and now got glasses instead.)

12. Instead of using my hand I use a knife and a fork to eat (I hate this) and mostly eat alone. If KGP is hearing ..I miss eating with you all and then going to Ratin da(our fruit stall) and driniking a Frooti.

13. My diet now mostly comprises of non spicy, non oily, supposed to very hygenic Italian food which being frank I can say I am starting to dislike. Afterall who doesn't want Aloo parantha for lunch ...oooooo I miss them.

14. Whenever I work in the lab I make a note of every damn thing,starting from various chemicals used to where I put them. (This is one of the good ones.)

15. I speak online to my best buddies rather than sitting at chillies and talking to them while sipping elaichi chai and double anda poch

16. When a few people buzz me, I am really busy working unlike before where I used to buzz people to talk to them.

17. I have hardly 10 mins long conversation with mom and dad unlike before where I used to talk atleast an hour a day.

18. Another good one, I don't waste most of my money and time on the phone.

19. Mostly when I am free I think about some important stuff unlike before where I used to search the LAN for any new movie,video or documentary.

20. When I talk, I use the perfect formal language eg. Can you please do this for me, unlike before where I used to say "Do this for me"

21. I generally don't have an evening snack unlike before where I used to eat samosa,kachori,pav bhaji,paani poori and Rosshhhoogullaah (aaaah my mouth is watering like hell and I gotta eat in the minsa now ...yaak)

22. I don't play TT rather makhau in TT anymore. (someone ready to ping pong ??? buzz me)

23. I am not in a look out for some junior to kick his ass ..(wahi GPL ...am planning to introduce this custom here.)

Following one is the worst thing which I miss.

24. Calling up friends to decide where to eat...billos,sahara,LS or Mid-Town(all of them are resturants in KGP) and then order one Chicken liver masala, one chiken bharta and tandoori roti without butter and then fight for the last piece and then later fret that one of the three ate the most. style Besides I boost my morale ....saying to myself "Koi naa ...har K***E ka ek din aata hain "(every d** has it's day)and then walk with lagging legs to the Minsa again ...stand in line, eat the same shitty things again without cribbing about the food because I have got used to it by now.

25. Get home cycling thinking, its cold enough and now tommorow I will definitely buy new Gloves and then just dive into my bed to sleep without watching a movie.

I wonder when will Optimus Prime the good Autobot come to save my world from being TRANSFORMED.

Why,what,who,whom,how,when and ??????

2007-10-12T14:25:00.000+02:00

Have you ever had this weird feeling that there are a bunch of questions which seem to have the answer but they still dont have an answer.

I quote "yeh ishq hai kya sabko pata...yeh ishq hain kya kisko pata" (everone knows what love is ...no one knows what love is)

Another example...Someone whom you love asks...Y do you love me ?? you tell her/him you love her/him because they are yours and again a question comes ....why am I yours ??...and you say ..Because I love you ...

There will be hell lot of these to quote....

wait a min WHAT did I want to write ..WHAT am I writing ??

Just wondering about how would the world be without these words....Why, What, Who, Whom, How, When and last but not the least ??

Imagine there wouldn't be any following questions in your mind

Why do I like something or rather Why do I love someone ??
Why do I dont like somone or dont love someone ??
Why does someone love me ??
Why does someone hate me ??
Why are you doing this to me ??
Why are you this bad ??
Why are you this good ??
Why does this happen to me ??
What am I doing with my life ??
What is that I am going to do in future ??
What was that what I did ?? Right or Wrong ??
What am I writing now ?? (I guess crap)
What made her/him do this ??
What the hell earth do you mean ??
What the F**k ??
Who is responsible for this ??
Who gave you the right to say this ??

and blah blah blah..

These are thoughts which had always crossed my mind are crossing my mind and ring bells of chaos in my mind.

So now i really feel what if all Why, What, Who, When, How weren't there. How would the world be ?? The fact that its impossible to have a world without all these is evident because I have used the same Why,What,Who, When, How to write about a world without them.

Now I myself got confused.

Now supposing we have a world without all these .......

then WHAT ??

THEN
What would I be ??
What will I do ??
How will I be feeling ??
How will the world be ??
How will I question ??

and lots of other blah blah blah ...

So the point is to imagine a world without what,why,when,how i have to still think about what,why,when,how.

and theres no answer to this question..or rather
What is the question and what is the answer ?? Even if you have an Answer to a Question why do you still dont't have an Answer or end up having a Question again ?? Or by answering you have raised another Question ??
Was the Question which was put to you was a Question or an Answer ??

Its like this cycle of egg or the chicken continuing ...

So hope now you understand

WHY I quoted...

If you understand

Thats WHY I am confused...

the Idiot-!talism

2007-08-09T12:41:00.000+02:00

Presumptions: They are a developed country, so people must be real intelligent, studds what all and what not.

First opinion: They seeem to lack commonsense a bit. Hmmm but its okay...Common sense is not something which is common.

Final conclusion: Italians, most of them are dumb, idiots, slugheads, terribly lack common sense and dont try to change them or else they will change you.

.
Conclusion I arrived at is based on the following real life incidents. So here I start...

P.S.
1. Anything in Italics represent my thoughts

Scene 1.
Prologue-Everyone non EU citizen who has comes here even for a months time has to file for a Residence permit. Seems normal.

At the postoffice

Myself: I need to apply ..blah blah
Clerk: Io No Englisse
Myself(to another clerk): I need ...blah blah
Clerk: Okay

Thank God

Now he gives me a 34 page form.A form to be filled by a NON-Italian. But Its all in Italian.

This is bullshit, how do I do it. .........Thank God again...Helpdesk

Myself: Can you please help me fill this form ???
Clerk: Aspetti!!!
Myself: What ???

He disappears for 15 mins.

He would have asked me to wait

He gets back.

Myself: Can you help me fill this form ??
Clerk: No Englissee...Only Italiano

I am going nuts....lets go to my Prof

I take help of my Professor, fill it up and then submit it the next day and pay whopping 73 euros :( and they tell me I ll get it after 6 months. Remember even people who come for 1 month have to apply for this and would never get it.

Scene2: Place: International office of Politecnico di Milano

(It all stinks "pee" this is becuase pooor drunk fellows last night never found a free bathroom near by.)

At the Reception

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
REceptionist: Go there..pointing at "Helpdesk".

At the helpdesk

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
The Lady: "okay" (then a pause for 10 long seconds) Io do No parla Englissse
Myself: Pardon me
The lady: this time writes down "io(I in italian) do no (seems english) Parla(speak in italian) Englisse(english in Italian)

what the F***. @@%%&&//

(Before going any further remember that the lady was working at International Office's Helpdesk)

Scene 3. Bio-materials laboratory.
Prologue: I diluted nitric acid, cleaned all the beakers except the one with "Distilled water" and put them for drying.

My post-doc (looks good for 36..I am a KGPian, I cant't help): Sri(she cant pronounce my complete name) You no wash this Beaker.
Myself: Which one ??
My Post-doc: This(pointing out) one with Distilled water.
Myself: Gone blank
My Post-doc: It is Contaminated,so clean. Okay You No worry, I clean and then SMILES

So she goes, washes the beaker with "Distilled water" with "Tap water" and now the best thing, Rinses the beaker with Distilled water again.

More %%&&&$$$$$///((((((çççç What do I do now ???

Scene 4. Diesel Showroom
Wow this place is awwsome....and Yeh sales girl to huha maal hain.(I already told you, WE cant help)

(I like a jeans and am hell bent on buying it.)

Sales girl: May I help you ??

yayy yaayyy Woowwww..yeppiee.....superb. Yeh to wahi maaal hain and ye Angreji bhi bolti hain.........Yeh hui naa BEAUTY WITH BRAINS

Meanwhile I try the jeans, was a bit loose
SO
Myself:(to the sales girl) Could you give me a smaller size ??
Salesgirl: Speak slowly, then I understand.
Myself:(This time at snails pace) Could....you....give...me...a...smaller...size ??
Salesgirl: Okay, gimme a minute
Salesgirl: Here you have.

(Gives me a Three-fourth)

Salesgirl: (Smiling) Smaller size, Sir !!!

Now what do I say

Myself: No, not this.... smaller size in the same jeans.
Salesgirl: Ohhhh!! I am sorry. Give me a minute.

thank god

Salesgirl: Here again, and smiles again.

What the F**** ??? more of %%&&&&////%%%%/// and eeeeeee aaaah ....i wanna kill her

Becuase this time she handed me a Boxer Short

hmmmmm Beauty with brains

These are one of the four scenes, while daily I encounter many of them. Now You tell me Whether my conclusion is Right or Wrong ???

Yahan aur 5 mahine kaise jugarenge :((

Moral of the story: If you can't impress someone with your Brilliance baffle them with your BULLSHIT

You've gotta name it..

2007-08-02T13:19:00.000+02:00

Crappy shit, shitty crap, crappy smelling shit or shitty smelling crap ..whatever you might call it but Here I start..

1. Cup Sliced onion- Yes, I have done it.
2. 3 Tamatoes peeled and cut- Doing this was painfull
3. Half KG chicken- I got 5 Kgs stocked :D
4. 4 Tbsp Yoghurt-Curd kyun nahin kahte isko??? still wondering
5. 1 Tbsp Coraiander powder-yaa bought it today

"All which starts well does(nt) end well"...so now Suddenly

OHH my God!!!! What the hell have I done!!!! What on earth was going on through
my mind when I had commited such a blunder

So to set things right .....I strech my aching arms n wear sorry change my clothes..trouble the aging elevator and force it to give me a ride from 7 to Sifar, pull my lagging legs across the wonderful but lonely streets, struggle my way in the Supermercato to find it, stand in queue for 15 long minutes, lessen my wallet with 6 euros and finally get back with IT.

so What was It ?? IT was Ginger garlic paste.

One of the soul purpose of writing the blog was to analyse how much I had changed ?? I had garlic paste and ginger paste but no "Garlic Ginger paste" ...and hence I take so much pains to go get it. This is what happens when you start aging ...turn stupid..Does the lack of work, resposibility, abundance of time, spending lot of time in Kitchen turn you this way ??Now I wonder Y some species are so strange .. :D But for the present this is the way I am.

The ultimate cause for this Metamorphosis in me is the Funded holiday offered from Dept. of Bio-engineering here. But since I lack Roti, Kapda aur Makan namely Laptop, I-pod and camera this is what I do for living here ...COOOKING...so please dont blame me.

So at this juncture I feeel, naah firmly believe that An idle mind is a COOK's workshop

Credits for making me equipped with knowledge enough to do such experiments go to
http://www.recipesindian.com

P.S.
1. I with all my senses accept tht You would ne Nuts over me for writing this ...but again it served me a purpose ...I killed Half an Hour. yeppiee.......
2. By the way those ingredients were for Kadai Chicken and I mumbled to myself when I was eating.....mmmmmm, I'm Lovin it !!!

and nostalgia

2007-05-09T17:45:00.000+02:00

Previously I had written....When I was happy, When I was sad, When I was angry even When I was on a HIGH, when i was emotional But now here I write when I am Nostalgic

I had come here as everyone does, with a desperation, with an attitude, with a charm, most importantly with a DREAM. Four years have passed, the desperations all gone, the attitudes changed, charms got rustic and the dreams all withered. I say this becuase I am not I wanted to be, but yet I am what I am. These four years I have seen life......I have learn what destiny is... and I have learnt Lifes all what you make it. It really is.

I had gone through every roller coaster life brought forth, I had my hearts in my boots when I failed, I had my head high when I succeded, I had my eyes full when I cried, I had my nails all eaten when I was tensed, I would say I had a share of everything. But now when I overturn every page of the life I spent here, which is withering into time... I realise theres always been a thread through all of them ...and now when I try and get hold of that thread...it binds all the withering pages and makes it a book, which can never be lost in time and has been intertwined in every memory of mine.

I always thought that thread was woven of ---- innumerable coffees we sipped, uncountable tandooris we burped, infinte walks we took, countless photos we posed, the many nights we partied, a few weekend retreats we had.

Now on the night before I leave when I know probably might never see you people again, here I am writing this blog, pondering over the past, laughing at times, worrying at times, thinking at times which gets my eyes moistened...I realise that the thread was not all what I had always thought it was to be but it was something else.

It was woven of---- all the times when I got emotional with you people, all the times I found your shoulder to rest upon when I was tired, all the times when you got me together when I was ready to shatter, all the times you lent me hand when I was helpless, pulling me up when circumstances got me into an abyss.

I dont know why now when we all head our ways..to make our lives ....I only remember the time we spend together when I was sad and you people were there to say ...."Load naa lo ...sab theek ho jaayega" and more often that not like a small kid I used to believe those words..mostly because they made me feel....YES, theres a way out.

Guys I really wish I were a great writer ....coz theres a tempest of thoughts in me but am unable to pen them down. Here are the few things which I can pen down.
1. Had it not been both of you I wouldn't have been what I am.
2. Without the company of you people my life will never be the same.
3. I will cherish every moment I spent with you.
4. I will miss you guys like hell yaar.
5. Now here I end wishing that in future may be 1 year, 2 years or even 10 years down the lane...but sometime we meet in KGP, go to LS order a tandooori, frett about the cook that hes so late, savour the taste even before we eat and say ...."Wowww....awwsummm hain yaaar", finish the three pieces one each and fight for the largest share in the fourth , come walking down to Bhondus order a pan and finishing it only to argue whose tounge got redder and finally get to GOL C and relive our memories again.

Guys three cheers to our FRIENSHIP. YO!!!!!!

What are we ????

2007-03-25T22:04:00.000+02:00

First of all THANK YOU Larry Page and Sergey Brin for giving me the only place where I can voice my opinion, thoughts, perspective, anguish, pain .....PUBLICALLY.

I start quoting from our Prof. Shishir Kumar's Dubey speech - "From the passsht 3 Years We have been ranked 1 in the country among all the institutes in the country by India Today." This was long back in August,03. That was KGP from the perspective of 1 year who had just come to the real world.

But present day ....situation is amazingly different which I want to put forth on the basis of the following.

A few status msgs in gtak:

1. Toothless Agression: it required dirty politics by more than 5 halls to stop us. Is there any better proof of who really are the champions?
2. Amit kumar: Ek taraf baba ka poltu ek taraf RK ka 5:2
3. Will this happiness ever sink in ???

A few Monologues:
1. Is baar tum log ek bhi point maar ke dikha dena Fine Arts mein, Main tumhe TAJ mein treat doonga.
2. Haan yaar ab hum logon ne machaya hain to machaya hain ..openly bol rahe hain kiya hain.
3. A guy from the same hall adds -"GC isliye nahin hoti ki kisi aur ka kaata jaaye."
I really laugh my heart out at this.
4. Hum GC GYMKHAANA mein jeet te hain- this is an year old one.
5. Yahan elections aise hi hote hain-this one is three year old.

A few events:
1. We exceed 2 seconds than the specified time limit in Inter-hall choreo. The whole insti fights their hearts out to disqualify us. Result- We still win Silver.
2. A judge in Interhall painting gives a participant 88/100, ANOTHER judge gives the same person 33/100. Result- We lose
3. A judge gives 78/100 in Interhall Cartooning to a participant, the ANOTHER judge gives 31/100. Result - We lose
4. An interhall football match is puposefully TIED 2:2. Result- We lose

Why is there so much of ill-willed competition with mingled jealously among all ??
Yes we won both the GCs, yes we got the VP twice, but the stage was all set at the same level for everyone the year before. We all started with the same Sifar in the race to the so called GLORY. But the difference was the the Leadership of a single GUY, Skills of a few, Hardwork of many, Support of many more to achieve all this. So we did it.

A new academic year, A new Final year batch, the same old glory to fight for on the same old DIAS. Fight goes on hard...hard n hard n hard. Hails to the so called Communicational skills of a GUY - the deals struck again.

In the race to glory ..the so called GLORY ..the following happens.

A junior of mine, goes to Interhall Painting, takes the topic, raises a tempest of thoughts in his mind, puts his skills to test, toils hard for three hours and finally completes a PAINTING. Again the same junior, goes to Interhall Cartooning, takes the topic, dives into an ocean of humour to draw on a 420 x 594 mm piece of paper a Cartoon. A judge of painting gives him 88/100 the other as put forth by you, 33/100. A judge of Cartooning gives him 78/100 and the other ( as again put forth by you)31/100. Though you managed to win the events what you have done is Murder the spirit of a guy, Salvaged art of its beauty, Ruined the efforts of a winner.

Now I wonder How many of you CARTOONS even know ABCD of PAINTING, especially one of you the-biggest CARTOON.

Again on the way to another glory, a few skilled craftsmen make a team of many who can make a 8" Rounded inflated Rubber specimen roll on ground, Fly in air, Bounce of their feet, carve its way through hurdles and finally get into its destiny a Intertwined Nylon skeletoned by steel poles. This team puts in their efforts for months when Most of you cartoons were dozing, orkutting, chatting, eating or probabaly mugging. They dislocate their bones, run their heart out on the field, sweat out their blood to TIE two matches. And yet again a few other NUTS manage to influence two teams in our pool to TIE their match 2:2.

Now I wonder How many of you NUTS would have ever touched the footBALL, not your balls.

A person comes in first year ...goes to InterIIT TT ..continues this for 4 years, manages to get his team what it deserves. Now, he backs out of InterIIT this year because he isn't placed. Now you NUTS again create a scene that he shouldn't be allowed to play in InterHALLS. I don't wanna ask why you losers do it. Now this veteran and his team may not have got GOLD but surely got BRONZE. But you SAVAGES purposely lost a match which you could have won hands down.

Now I wonder How many of you SAVAGES could even touch the ball when the VETERAN had hit a smash.

At this juncture, I give Everyone of You CARTOONS, Everyone of you NUTS, Everyone of you SAVAGES, last but not the least Everyone of US to answer the MILLION DOLLOR QUESTION.

WHAT ARE WE ????

I give you a hint we are RK

The saga...

2007-01-21T21:32:00.000+01:00

Frustrated....Terrified ....Confused ...These would have the perfect words to describe my scenario. Then a bell rings in my JUNG LAGEALA DIMAAG...Chalo Gtak pe bhatiya ke time paas karte hain ....First thing I see on my list...A Blogs Link
in which ------ A character from our institute...probably the Biggest God I have seen writes recollecting his memories of 2006.....
March...MSR calling
May...First time out of India
July...Came back to India but had gained significant POUNDS
September......1560 in GRE happens...
December.....Mckenzie happens
January 07...CAT percentile 99.99

I guess you would have guessed the name by now ..if yu are a KGPian ...if not it's a simple, sober, genius....Shaunak Chaterjee.

Then a bell rings again in my JUNG LAGELA Dimag....yeh to studd hain bhaai .... Physche nahin hone ka ise dekh ke.....THen again a bell rings..of course in my JUNG LAGELA DIMAG.....dooosron se baat karte hain ...

Then I see..

Navakanth reddy @ Shell
VikC @ ITC
Finally made to Pacific Mindware
Lehmann gots luky now
ON board ZS
Karli Duniya Mutthi mein
5 Foot 5 Lakh

These were the status msgs...I could see..

Now it dawned upon my mind .....tht I am the odd man out....the person without any JOB ...ab shuru hua ....

yaar " ##### " ho raha hain..Job lagni hain nahin lagni hain .....then .......hussssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh comes out a cloud of smoke from my friend " #### " sutta, immediately followed by ....Lagegi bey Lagegi...teri BHI job lagegi..

Then i realised ..I am in wooods of the people who had a unique criteria ...they cleared JEE....but now ...they were miles ahead.

A bell rings again (yu know where) ..which says....What did you do in four years....What have you gained in these four years.....where have you spent money from Income tax payers.....Am i really that bad ???

Well after a few days .....infact many days.....TnP notice board 3 with a small A4 sheet on which a blue gel pen carefully calligraphs....

List of final offers
1. Nikhil Samar
2. PVS Srikanth

All what it meant was ...Boston Analytics had hired me .....

Finally the saga ends.....I am placed....

So...so .....so ...so......Whats next ???

All I would say is ....This blog was a desperate attempt to thank all those people ...who realize me what I had not done ....when they did that .....and made me realize what I should be doing.....last but not the least...... Shaunak YOU R GODDDD

My Wish

2006-12-29T21:22:00.000+01:00

Laang Laaang time yego .....I wrote this..Even I don't belive it now

I wish you were my vision....
So that I cud see only you.

I wish you could be my voice...
So that I cud speak only of you.

I wish you were my mind...
So that I cud think only of you.

I wish you were my sleep..
So that I could dream only of you.

I wish you were my world...
So that it cud b a UTOPIA

I wish u were my conscience...
So that you cud just be a heartbet away.

I wish you were my breath..
So that you cud be the source of my life.

I wish you were my imagination...
So that you cud always be my fascination.

I wish you were my tears.....
So that U wud b there for me always in my sorrow.

I wish you were my soul....
So that even death cud not seperate me from U.

I wish i cud always look into ur eyes....
So that I cud drown in that ocean of innocence.

2006-12-18T20:47:00.000+01:00

The Universe

A Dirty white Cemented canvas which says ...Dont Just do Enough To get by..Do engough to GET AHEAD...Let your EFFORTS RISE above your EXCUSES...(FUNDE)...The posters

A lifeless but glowing state of matter all jamn packed in a sealed glass cylinder..connected with a few metal wires....The one and only LOTUS ECONOMY SUPER tubelight.

Five dead GHOSTS accompanied by a Underlying DEVIL with their life in a distant fruit, who always scream at the top of their lungs ....My 5.1 Intex Speakers with remote (:D)

Millions, Billions, Trillions of white,black,blue,red,yellow,cotton,rayon,wollen,acrylic,polyster,khadi,silk,Indian,
American fibres forcefully, willfully, skillfully entangled among themselves...MY clothes..

Four Large hollow cylinders towering not so high taking the weight of composite cellulose slab which in turn supports a massive living tissue weighing 75Kgs and I guess a lot more....MY BED

Dead tissue once,they lukily fell in the hands of stranger who transformed them into irregular but symetric, lifeless but attractive, Hollow but comfortable, themselves nonliving but generally full upto their neck with life supporting entitites.... MY SHOES.

A Cubiod, a truncated pryamid, which are home to a colony of 6 legged creatures called spiders living happily and over which are present PRINCE, a ceramic sleeping MOON, A Baby with his puppy, Two love BIRDS in their privacy, a calcium carbonate carapace. Despite all this the Cubiod is just good at it's work... MY 2 GHz AMD,256MB,40GB CPU and its wife..the 17" COLOREAL Monitor living with their son an daugther the Compaq keyboard and mouse.

A Three winged creature which rotates as fast as the passenger train wheel and is perfectly fit to get into service as a PROPELLOR for 1st world war fighter plane. the FAN

Cubes and cubiods, Thick and Thin, Light and Heavy, Old and New, Touched and Untouched, Usefull and Useless, Self owned and Borrowed, Pirated and Original, Dilapidated and Superb Organic matter which are supposed to be the SUPERPOWER in this UNIVERSE of mine......myBOOKS

All the above mentioned forming a perfect Habitat for a aptly adapted creature called ME living in a perfect harmony, in a confined space of 15*12*10 feet space form my UNIVERSE ......ROOM no B309,RK hall, IIT kgp.....MY ROOM

2006-08-03T07:41:00.001+02:00

I am thinking
Where would I be after next year and ...wat would I be doing ????

I said ....
I would always greatful to you GOD for wat all you gave me ...

I want ...
To make all the people whom I love happy ...

I miss ..
Talking to my sis and her a lot, being a kid ...and haan ghar ka khaana as well..

I hear ...
my conscinece saying ...you hurt many people many a times ...never do that again ..

I wonder...
How could so many people like me ..when i find so many shortcomings and flaws in me ..

I regret...
Sitting alone in my room and doing nothing ..when she needed me the most ...and that I couldn't pull my best friend out of truble .....I AM SORRY TO BOTH OF YOU PPL ....

I am
very childish and sentimental ...

I dance
To the tunes of my mood ...so you can say i am very impulsive..

I sing
When I am sad .....when i am happy ...

I cry ...
Only when I am alone ....and that too very rarely ...

I am not
INa position to say ...I am satisfied with myself ...

I write ..
To make my innerself speak out ...

I confuse ...
when you tag me like this ..

I need ...
TO workhard a lot ..

I should ..
be finishing this tag fast .....as i am getting late for class

I finish ...
Hoping tht its not my last blog .... :D

2006-07-23T14:51:00.000+02:00

The Eternal Journey

It's time for the birds to sing a goodmorning song for everyone,blossoms to give a smile to all,sunlight to take persmission from the fog to take it's place, people to think it's not time yet to get out of bed..lemme sleep a bit more..and LOOOK AT ME ...what am I doing......speeding my way through the crowd of morning walkers on the pavement on my legs thinking would I make it on time or not ..would I miss the cab even today ??? Y don't I get up a bit early...and then a sigh of relief ....a cab painted white and yellow ..written Kennametal waiting for me ....
Namaskara Sir ....meeru late (namaste sir.. you are late) this is wat the driver had to say ...gettin my usual remark at exactly 6:25 AM (5 mins late :D), I now feel normal. Taking the seat next to the driver ...opening the glass pane which allowed me to look at poor chaps with the same destiny as me {waiting for their cabs}, gave me huge sigh of relief...
Cutting its way through the morning breeze, treading on the huge 100 feet wide black snake, steering itself carefully among the heavy traffic, passing besides huge edifices my cab is now on INNER RING ROAD....
Everything seems to pleasant at this juncture. I find myself getting trasported into new world benedicted with pleasure, beauty and peace of mind. I just turn back only to find myself amazed. She was standing just next to me. we took a walk to get to the most beautiful place on earth. Sitting on the rock here I could see a stream of gently trying to make it's way out of the brocade of flowers covering the valley floor. It was breathtaking. Holding my breath for a few moments which seemed to have lasted a lifetime, I wanted to get drowned in those innocent eyes which always take every pain on earth away from me. With my heart lurching to the tune of the cold breeze which begeted it's way to slight drrizle, I wanted to spend my whole life there. Taking away the bliss of solitude of the valley, the drizzle brought with itself fog which engulfed the whole scenery leaving nothing but a neverending envelope of cloud around us. I at this moment was in a UTOPIA where my dreams were to materialize.
Then suddenly ...something rammed us from behind...DHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSHHHHH....before I could notice I was thrown out of my place into a glass pane. This left me annoyed ..thinking "whats this glass window doing in front of this beautiful valley." Then to my amazement I could see a COP asking ARE YOU ALRIGHT ....Befuddled ..i was thinking ..whether or not to defy the dream or come back to reality. But everyone is a puppet in the hands of destiny ...so I had to realize that ...the UTOPIA was a dream amd that the reality is
my Cab was rammed by a LORRIE from behind and I was hurt on my forehead and was bleeding. Whatelse could happen now....but I never expected this ....an AC ambulance ...which was absolutely unncessary .....taking me to MALLYA hospital which was the nearest...
But the coda of that whole drama was very soothing...The doc gave me letter calligraphed on it ...complete bed rest for 3 days...hurrrayy.......

Finally I was in UTOPIAN situation :D

2006-07-21T23:29:00.000+02:00

saying...GOOD MORNING in their own way...

Breaking the eternal silence of my sleep, disturbing the soothing ambience in my dreams he was shouting at the top of his lungs....Bangalore ....Majestic..Bangalore Majestic ....Now ...I woke up. Hesitatingly, never wanting to give up the comfort of the the italian VOLVO seat No 5-A ...managing to get hold of my luggage I got down. Never knowing what was I gettin into, I walked a bit.
Then first - my left pocket, right pocket ..my wallet.. my bag .....then my suitcase...my hands went through all the places of my body they could go through..only to make me realize that I had lost the address of my relatives..Then came to my rescue ...my mobile....But Almighty wasn't satisfied with the sceraio yet...so it was time for my 2 inch Liquid Crystal Display of my mobile to show "low battery" finally a sound tiditiditidi...IT swithced off.
Turning all around myself I could find an ocean of people walking in perfect arrythymatic manner so as to be sure not to be without disturbing others, not to help others, busy in themselves with a chain in their hand (ofcourse of their doggy), some with a hand of thier counterparts (lucky chaps). Finally I could find a my soul saviour - the STD ..thank GOD ....I hurried in with a priceless expression of relief on my countenance...my fingers did the rest..then ..beep beep beep ...and then TRIN TRIN TRIN. Now the SUN of troubles seemed to make its way into the dusk of the teliphone ring and the dawn of solutions seemed to luminate my face. But my destiny made me realize the delta G of the both the above mentioned reactions was positive...so I had to listen from my mom "DADDY LERU" (dad isn't there) and "NAAKU ADDRESS TELIYADU"(i dont know the address) Dumb struck by news I wished her and said a BYE. At this juncture, with the look of "why coudn't he talk a bit more" the STD fellow said 12 Rs....I finally had to part with all the change I had..
Now it was the time for the JUDGEMENT DAY...trusting my 400 gms little, rusted, hibernating brain for its memory which could barely recapitulate.."Banshankari.stage 3...terrace garden apts" Trusting something which i had never before I (my memory) I went to the so called Public Servants...but for me they were devils personified..the Indian Auto Drivers...Thinking atlest situation seemed to be normal for those fellows ...I spelt out my address..they suddenly I was given a dreaded look..saying ..Don't Disturb I am busy reading newspaper...my destiny took me a second fellow ..who was of the opinion that ...my place is too far for him to drive me there..so he simply said ...."NAI NAI ..main nahin aaaunga".....With my hearts in my boots, wading through the neck deep troubles i ambulated my way to the third fellow...Now I could hear only numbers ..200..190....170...and finally the score seem to settle for 150 ....I got in..then suddenly when everything seemed to fall back to normal ...there was again a havoc ...you have luggage ...i need 20 more....Overshadowed by the thick cloud of numbers round me I said OK chalo.....later I realized that - I had said a YES to the seemingly normal but highly abnormal daily chorus, I had put a very big ask for my wallet contents of which were hypothicated to DAD, I continued the tradition of first timers at BANGY.....
This is my most memorable GOOD MORNING wish I had ever got...

2006-04-13T19:45:00.000+02:00

It was superficial.It was formality.It was partiality.It was worthless.It was outlandish.It was artificial.It was astonishing.It was comedy and parody both.It was seemingly natural.It was abortive.It was absurd.It was affrontory.It was out of compulsion.It was a persons attempt to prove himself superior.It was exchange of a few stares which conveyed someone knew nothing.It was highly unrewarding.It was supposingly decent but was humiliating.For others it was short but for me it was a lifetime compressed into ten minutes.It was supposedly a dialogue but fate made it amonologue.It was ambigoulsy usefull.It was amusement coupled with grief.It was nightmare come true.It was a bollywood movie without a protagonist but with a villian.It was justfully apocalyptical.It was a sailors struggle in a tempest.It was a gateway to nowhere.It was a rendezous with an apparition.It was hell materialised.It was renowned making of an identity for life.It was fixed cricket match.It was a unpaid telephone bill(this implies only to a certain strata of people :D).It was a to be unified in memories.It was self slaughtering.It was an ensured failure.It wasn't my moment.It was a pedagogical murder.

lemme give you a hint ....
.
But it was a crowd of people terrified,horrified but waiting.It was huge gaints petrified.It was thin metal wires with death calling but still called LIVE.It was all black boxes but they revealed nothing to me.It was a few meters deciding my fate.It was AC DC but no music.It was the place I wasn't supposed to be.It was all power but gave me no energy.It was a Questionnaire with no answers.It was all connections but never completed a circuit in my mind.It was all fuses but never saved me from overlaoding.It was alienated planet.It was magnetism, but when it never attracted iron they said Diamagnetism.It was time with morale in my boots(now I realize y they were mandatory.).

N as now I am running out of words I ll tell you wat it was..It was my First Years Electrical lab and my Viva.

P.S. 1.All credits for this blog go to Batti Dep, IIT KGP.
2.The above was not at all a fiction.Any resemblence to any person living or dead is highly possible.
3.If theres a DC on me ..Maalu,Allu n now Rathee please save me.
4.Dad if you are reading this I am not the author.You remember I told you I cracked "IT".
5.Any queries regarding grades would bot be entertained.
6.Since its my first blog please do tell me that it was EXCELLENT, even GOOD will do.