the Idiot-!talism

Presumptions: They are a developed country, so people must be real intelligent, studds what all and what not.

First opinion: They seeem to lack commonsense a bit. Hmmm but its okay...Common sense is not something which is common.

Final conclusion: Italians, most of them are dumb, idiots, slugheads, terribly lack common sense and dont try to change them or else they will change you.


.
Conclusion I arrived at is based on the following real life incidents. So here I start...

P.S.
1. Anything in Italics represent my thoughts

Scene 1.
Prologue-Everyone non EU citizen who has comes here even for a months time has to file for a Residence permit. Seems normal.

At the postoffice

Myself: I need to apply ..blah blah
Clerk: Io No Englisse
Myself(to another clerk): I need ...blah blah
Clerk: Okay

Thank God

Now he gives me a 34 page form.A form to be filled by a NON-Italian. But Its all in Italian.

This is bullshit, how do I do it. .........Thank God again...Helpdesk

Myself: Can you please help me fill this form ???
Clerk: Aspetti!!!
Myself: What ???

He disappears for 15 mins.

He would have asked me to wait


He gets back.

Myself: Can you help me fill this form ??
Clerk: No Englissee...Only Italiano

I am going nuts....lets go to my Prof

I take help of my Professor, fill it up and then submit it the next day and pay whopping 73 euros :( and they tell me I ll get it after 6 months. Remember even people who come for 1 month have to apply for this and would never get it.


Scene2: Place: International office of Politecnico di Milano

(It all stinks "pee" this is becuase pooor drunk fellows last night never found a free bathroom near by.)

At the Reception

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
REceptionist: Go there..pointing at "Helpdesk".

At the helpdesk

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
The Lady: "okay" (then a pause for 10 long seconds) Io do No parla Englissse
Myself: Pardon me
The lady: this time writes down "io(I in italian) do no (seems english) Parla(speak in italian) Englisse(english in Italian)

what the F***. @@%%&&//

(Before going any further remember that the lady was working at International Office's Helpdesk)

Scene 3. Bio-materials laboratory.
Prologue: I diluted nitric acid, cleaned all the beakers except the one with "Distilled water" and put them for drying.

My post-doc (looks good for 36..I am a KGPian, I cant't help): Sri(she cant pronounce my complete name) You no wash this Beaker.
Myself: Which one ??
My Post-doc: This(pointing out) one with Distilled water.
Myself: Gone blank
My Post-doc: It is Contaminated,so clean. Okay You No worry, I clean and then SMILES

So she goes, washes the beaker with "Distilled water" with "Tap water" and now the best thing, Rinses the beaker with Distilled water again.

More %%&&&$$$$$///((((((çççç What do I do now ???

Scene 4. Diesel Showroom
Wow this place is awwsome....and Yeh sales girl to huha maal hain.(I already told you, WE cant help)

(I like a jeans and am hell bent on buying it.)

Sales girl: May I help you ??

yayy yaayyy Woowwww..yeppiee.....superb. Yeh to wahi maaal hain and ye Angreji bhi bolti hain.........Yeh hui naa BEAUTY WITH BRAINS

Meanwhile I try the jeans, was a bit loose
SO
Myself:(to the sales girl) Could you give me a smaller size ??
Salesgirl: Speak slowly, then I understand.
Myself:(This time at snails pace) Could....you....give...me...a...smaller...size ??
Salesgirl: Okay, gimme a minute
Salesgirl: Here you have.

(Gives me a Three-fourth)

Salesgirl: (Smiling) Smaller size, Sir !!!

Now what do I say

Myself: No, not this.... smaller size in the same jeans.
Salesgirl: Ohhhh!! I am sorry. Give me a minute.


thank god

Salesgirl: Here again, and smiles again.

What the F**** ??? more of %%&&&&////%%%%/// and eeeeeee aaaah ....i wanna kill her

Becuase this time she handed me a Boxer Short

hmmmmm Beauty with brains


These are one of the four scenes, while daily I encounter many of them. Now You tell me Whether my conclusion is Right or Wrong ???

Yahan aur 5 mahine kaise jugarenge :((


Moral of the story: If you can't impress someone with your Brilliance baffle them with your BULLSHIT

You've gotta name it..

Crappy shit, shitty crap, crappy smelling shit or shitty smelling crap ..whatever you might call it but Here I start..

1. Cup Sliced onion- Yes, I have done it.
2. 3 Tamatoes peeled and cut- Doing this was painfull
3. Half KG chicken- I got 5 Kgs stocked :D
4. 4 Tbsp Yoghurt-Curd kyun nahin kahte isko??? still wondering
5. 1 Tbsp Coraiander powder-yaa bought it today

"All which starts well does(nt) end well"...so now Suddenly

OHH my God!!!! What the hell have I done!!!! What on earth was going on through
my mind when I had commited such a blunder

So to set things right .....I strech my aching arms n wear sorry change my clothes..trouble the aging elevator and force it to give me a ride from 7 to Sifar, pull my lagging legs across the wonderful but lonely streets, struggle my way in the Supermercato to find it, stand in queue for 15 long minutes, lessen my wallet with 6 euros and finally get back with IT.

so What was It ?? IT was Ginger garlic paste.



One of the soul purpose of writing the blog was to analyse how much I had changed ?? I had garlic paste and ginger paste but no "Garlic Ginger paste" ...and hence I take so much pains to go get it. This is what happens when you start aging ...turn stupid..Does the lack of work, resposibility, abundance of time, spending lot of time in Kitchen turn you this way ??Now I wonder Y some species are so strange .. :D But for the present this is the way I am.

The ultimate cause for this Metamorphosis in me is the Funded holiday offered from Dept. of Bio-engineering here. But since I lack Roti, Kapda aur Makan namely Laptop, I-pod and camera this is what I do for living here ...COOOKING...so please dont blame me.

So at this juncture I feeel, naah firmly believe that An idle mind is a COOK's workshop

Credits for making me equipped with knowledge enough to do such experiments go to
http://www.recipesindian.com

P.S.
1. I with all my senses accept tht You would ne Nuts over me for writing this ...but again it served me a purpose ...I killed Half an Hour. yeppiee.......
2. By the way those ingredients were for Kadai Chicken and I mumbled to myself when I was eating.....mmmmmm, I'm Lovin it !!!