the Idiot-!talism

Presumptions: They are a developed country, so people must be real intelligent, studds what all and what not.

First opinion: They seeem to lack commonsense a bit. Hmmm but its okay...Common sense is not something which is common.

Final conclusion: Italians, most of them are dumb, idiots, slugheads, terribly lack common sense and dont try to change them or else they will change you.


.
Conclusion I arrived at is based on the following real life incidents. So here I start...

P.S.
1. Anything in Italics represent my thoughts

Scene 1.
Prologue-Everyone non EU citizen who has comes here even for a months time has to file for a Residence permit. Seems normal.

At the postoffice

Myself: I need to apply ..blah blah
Clerk: Io No Englisse
Myself(to another clerk): I need ...blah blah
Clerk: Okay

Thank God

Now he gives me a 34 page form.A form to be filled by a NON-Italian. But Its all in Italian.

This is bullshit, how do I do it. .........Thank God again...Helpdesk

Myself: Can you please help me fill this form ???
Clerk: Aspetti!!!
Myself: What ???

He disappears for 15 mins.

He would have asked me to wait


He gets back.

Myself: Can you help me fill this form ??
Clerk: No Englissee...Only Italiano

I am going nuts....lets go to my Prof

I take help of my Professor, fill it up and then submit it the next day and pay whopping 73 euros :( and they tell me I ll get it after 6 months. Remember even people who come for 1 month have to apply for this and would never get it.


Scene2: Place: International office of Politecnico di Milano

(It all stinks "pee" this is becuase pooor drunk fellows last night never found a free bathroom near by.)

At the Reception

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
REceptionist: Go there..pointing at "Helpdesk".

At the helpdesk

Myself: I am "blah blah blah blah..."
The Lady: "okay" (then a pause for 10 long seconds) Io do No parla Englissse
Myself: Pardon me
The lady: this time writes down "io(I in italian) do no (seems english) Parla(speak in italian) Englisse(english in Italian)

what the F***. @@%%&&//

(Before going any further remember that the lady was working at International Office's Helpdesk)

Scene 3. Bio-materials laboratory.
Prologue: I diluted nitric acid, cleaned all the beakers except the one with "Distilled water" and put them for drying.

My post-doc (looks good for 36..I am a KGPian, I cant't help): Sri(she cant pronounce my complete name) You no wash this Beaker.
Myself: Which one ??
My Post-doc: This(pointing out) one with Distilled water.
Myself: Gone blank
My Post-doc: It is Contaminated,so clean. Okay You No worry, I clean and then SMILES

So she goes, washes the beaker with "Distilled water" with "Tap water" and now the best thing, Rinses the beaker with Distilled water again.

More %%&&&$$$$$///((((((çççç What do I do now ???

Scene 4. Diesel Showroom
Wow this place is awwsome....and Yeh sales girl to huha maal hain.(I already told you, WE cant help)

(I like a jeans and am hell bent on buying it.)

Sales girl: May I help you ??

yayy yaayyy Woowwww..yeppiee.....superb. Yeh to wahi maaal hain and ye Angreji bhi bolti hain.........Yeh hui naa BEAUTY WITH BRAINS

Meanwhile I try the jeans, was a bit loose
SO
Myself:(to the sales girl) Could you give me a smaller size ??
Salesgirl: Speak slowly, then I understand.
Myself:(This time at snails pace) Could....you....give...me...a...smaller...size ??
Salesgirl: Okay, gimme a minute
Salesgirl: Here you have.

(Gives me a Three-fourth)

Salesgirl: (Smiling) Smaller size, Sir !!!

Now what do I say

Myself: No, not this.... smaller size in the same jeans.
Salesgirl: Ohhhh!! I am sorry. Give me a minute.


thank god

Salesgirl: Here again, and smiles again.

What the F**** ??? more of %%&&&&////%%%%/// and eeeeeee aaaah ....i wanna kill her

Becuase this time she handed me a Boxer Short

hmmmmm Beauty with brains


These are one of the four scenes, while daily I encounter many of them. Now You tell me Whether my conclusion is Right or Wrong ???

Yahan aur 5 mahine kaise jugarenge :((


Moral of the story: If you can't impress someone with your Brilliance baffle them with your BULLSHIT